recently ar..
i am really into composing
of song lyrics..
hahahahha
is fun la..
expressing thoughts
but ar i find it hard to
pen it down in correct
vocabs, beautiful words

i damn envy
those people
who can finish a song
in like 10 mins or so
while i take months
to complete...
think my chinese
deteriorate till
like shit.. lol
must brush up..

and i found my partner
and tat is my dearest
teo hui qi..
chinese pro..
think with the 2 of us
cooperating together
shld be great~!!

next time shall share
with your my compositions :D

had great dinner for sun and today..
sun - tcc
today - benppu

once again i skipped school
since no one cares or bothers
whether i in sch or not

that kind of lonely
aimless days in
school are really the
last things that i want to
have in poly days

MOOD: KA-NA-SAI

some pics to share........


only pic with mama side's cousins.. short of sister..



Taken in class with E35C peps.. ram,fadh,me,cherine,sheena,hanying

Team Singapore Flag PResentation at RP

Aji-tei.. our dinner.. DELICIOUS~!! :P

21 nov

today wasnt feeling good
sore throat blocked nose
slight fever of 37.9
also good la.. let me rest one day
hahaha making it sound
like i didnt had rest since
man stepped on moon
where actually i had
wkend 3 days ago ROFL

THANKS TO MARILYN NG
she helped me alot on my
transfer stuffs.. i didnt know
how she managed to get all the details
where i search for like few days also
to no avail.. LOL
but it really helped alot :D

think i should change
my blog add again..
similar to shirin's
but it is what i am feeling
recently.. IT IS NOT COPYING
let me think of a new one
and i will change okay shirin?

20 nov

HAPPY 58th BIRTHDAY MAMA~!!
went ssc to have sea games briefing
with the ytsa who are going with us
they arre a bunch of funny people :D

19 nov

went marina south to eat steamboat
with mama and sister to
celebrate mama's birthday
hope mama is happy :D
mama I LOVE YOU LOTS~!!
MUACKS MUACKS~!!

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY SI EN~!!

18 nov

went plaza sing with
sien weijuan and lois
supposedly to watch movie
but there was no more slot
because we were late..
in the end played arcade
at ps and sien had to leave
to celebrate with family
so weijuan lois and me
went to eat ajitei
ambience was good
food not bad
and we had lots of laughter
we saw xie yun yi and chen hong yu
at the restaurant pat-tor-ing LOL

after dinner we walked to wisma
to look for dress for lois's
graduation dinner..

along the way we had
chats to update each other
about our lives..
it's been long since we met
up like that and had chats

talked alot to them and
we exchanged views
about problems that we faced
thanks people for the advices
maybe we had similar
experiences so we all
understand each other's
situations and had that
same freqency i guess

17 nov

had tsvl briefing at sscthey briefed
us on the general stuffs and things to note
i am EXTREMELY sad to know that i wont
be able to watch swimming as their
competition ends at 11 nov itself
furthermore i wont be going with
the ytsa who are closest to me

16 nov

had ts flag presentation
at RP and i helped out
my role is to make sure all performers
are ready so that the flow
will not be disturbed
most things are okay
just that shawn was nearly
late for the programe
and i was nearly in trouble
luckily everything still went
smoothly in the end..
i was saved....

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________

i didnt know i hurt you previously
but it wasnt really my intention
but i hope you understand that
not everyone can get along with everyone
i know you treasure both of us
but when it is impossible means not possible
i am not forcing you to make a choice
just remember to talk to me occasionally
and i will be contented :D

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

我还是会想他
想听他笑我
傻虽然此刻
心里充满挣扎
还会心乱如麻
我承认我还没忘了他

还是会想他 = 何耀珊

没有期望就不会有失望
一切都不能回到从前
只能带着回忆走向未来

Daily Overview for 18.11.2007:

There has been something negative
brewing in your social circle lately,
and today it will still be unclear to
you as to what it is -- so stop trying
to figure it out. Let this problem
unravel and reveal itself on its own
schedule. Perhaps you will never
know what happened. You'll just
sense that the negativity has
gone and that everyone is smiling
and happy with each other again.
You don't need to know about
every little conflict that arises,
you know.

that's my horoscope for today..
why is it so true?
though is true but
i don know if i can heed the advice there
i aggree but i dont know if
i can do it.. haiz....

当初美好的小幸福已不在了
当初最简单的快乐
为快乐的快乐
到哪里了？

那些以前让我开心的事
现在却变成我难过的原因

原来到头来
我还是一个人
什么都没变
一直只是在兜圈子
你们是你们
我是我
永远都不会连在一起
我由始至终都不是你们的一分子吧

看到说说笑笑得你们
我又再1次
强烈的感受到
我非常的不重要
对你们而言
我真的只是
普通到不能再
普通的朋友。。
我情愿不要看到你们
那我就不会更不开心

当我看到你们时
的hi and bye
不是我希望的
我渴望你们多问我几句
约我和你们一起
但往往都不如我意

眼泪已不知不觉
变成我最好的朋友

made up my mind to not have any more regrets in my life.. i realised that it is short anything can happen first of all
i will NEVER give up my dream to sing
i will try to take part
in singing competitons
to improve and prove myself :Dsecondly
is to try transfer no matter how what the result will be
because i know it is better for me
in other poly
i am sure :D

if i try there will be 50% success
if i dont it will SURELY be 0% success
or 100% failure Thidly i will try to help people around me who needs help i dont know if i am pushing them too hard if i am, i apologize cuz maybe i am too anxious if i am, i apologize cuz i am just trying to help and maybe my method is very harsh but i hope it will help.. ______________________________________________________________ this sem is really nonsense i have already skipped 9 days out of the 10 days that we supposed to have i totally have no mood to go to school dont feel like going then didnt go all the passion that i had in the last sem is goneee... not saying that i dont like my class but just some classmates is totally nonsense till i have nth to say i like some of my classmates but the feeling is different as compared to last sem if you dont wan to study is ur fucking business BUT dont disrupt the class can and to my facis can your just dont care abt them let them rot and die if they dont care? why waste your time and our time for those who just cant be bothered and talking nonsense?

PLEASE DONT COME TO CLASS
IF YOUR CANT BE BOTHERED
I WILL RATHER YOUR DONT COME
CUZ YOUR WILL JUST DISTURB THE CLASS
my classmates now are totally different from last sem i am just nothing to most of them someone who is arrogant someone who has something against them but come on i dont do that to al ppl they did things that i cant take it so i just choose to ignore them like that also wrong? is not that i did not give them chance chance once gone is not coming back your want to play is your problem dont want to contribute is also your problem if your don contribute and want credit sorry i wont allow that to happen i rather your dont present because YOUR ARE NOT WORTH TO so those things that we asked your to present dont COMPLAIN that it is too little or stuffs letting your present is the least that i can do recently they asked a very simple question 'i have a diploma is good enough i sure have a job no need to care to if the gpa is high anot so no need study hard' of course a dip wit a pass is good enough as compared to people who only have o level certs or psle certs but if compare to people who have the same qualification with good grades who do you think they will hire? put urself in the company's shoe so next time if you can become the boss you just take in all tom dick and harry la? what a stupid question to ask or better still take o level for example why do well? everyone have the o level cert ma everyone got into a poly but is it a good course? is it a good poly? is it something you like? THINk aBOUT IT ______________________________________________________________ i am very very very very unhappy once again
unless when i am singing or watching my laogong

the unhappiness come from alot alot alot
of different factors

why do i feel unhappy?
- no life
- most things changed
- misunderstandings
- grandma's death
- Acquaintance to alot of ppl
- not important to alot of ppl

i realised i dont know how to get along
with people now
i forgot how i got along with people previously
where is the yip wei shan that i know?
is it i got problem or isit the people
around me really have changed?

am i really that not important to others?
my existance should be zero to them right?
maybe the one who should be leaving is me..
i want a brand new environment
to start everything afresh
i guess no one will also care
if i leave anot cuz i am just someone
who is not important or a passer by
there are just too many things
in this school that i dont wan to
continue facing or things have
evolved till i dont know how to handle

people have adviced me
but i dont know how to go
with the advices because
easy to say, hard to do

I DONT KNOW HOW TO CONTINUE with my life this way.......
_______________________________________________________________
first time i feel that liking someone is something xinfu
first time i feel that liking someone is that xinku
first time i feel that liking someone is that xintong

first time i know that forgetting someone is harder than i thought
first time i know that i made the biggest regret in my life cuz i lost my best friend

first time i feel that my life is almost complete cuz of the people around me
first time i feel that my life is destroyed cuz of the people around me
first time i know that someone that close will also be someone that distant
first time i know that people change within one day
first time i know that i am nothing to alot of people
first time i know that i can be that unhappy behind my smile

_______________________________________________________________

woke up very early
and left for malaysia
initially was very very
boring at the wake
cuz alot of ppl haven
arrived.. but as time
goes, more and more
ppl arrived

me and my youngest
cousin are getting okay
but then ar i still feel
wierd wierd one
dont relly talk to him

today saw 3rd cousin
finally.. very abc
but didnt talk much

cried quite a bit
cuz it was really sad
but during the father's
talk, i fell asleep
i think i wont change
religon, i am okay
with buddism

i want to thank grandma
cuz actually if not
this happened,
i wont be able to see
so many of my relatives
even new year
we dont usually meet
cuz it's too far from each other

now i am worried
abt my mama
she seems quite strong
but don know if
she is really okay anot
i also don dare to mention
much today back home
but one thing i am
sure is that she is
very worried about her bro
who will be sent
to the old folks home
who will want to be sent there?
i understand how she feels
and i wonder if my uncle knows
that he will be staying
in the old folks home from
now on.. what will he feel?

from now on i will
take good care of my mama

today had a very boring
day at the wake

but i saw alot of
my relatives
like so so so
long nvr seen them
or first time see
wierd wierd one

mama kept crying
today cuz all the uncles
decide to send
my smallest uncle
to the old folks home
cuz he has some mobility
and speech problem
as years back he had
an accident and half
paralyzed and abit slow in talking
as mama is very close to him
she cant bear to see her own
brother being sent to
the old folks home
no one wants to take care of him
mama also suggest that
if we move next year
we can ask him to stay wit us

i don mind actually
cuz before the accident
he is really nice to us

he is also closest to
my grandma
so he is the most sad
among everyone of us
hope after tml
he can take care

tml early morning
gg in to malaysia again
for the cremation
mama say the process
will be very very sad
alot of ppl sure will cry
ask me if i can take it
i think i cant
cuz i see ppl cry
i will cry too

and tml is the first
time i attend the
cremation process

i think aft tml
i will be very worried
abt the issue on death
wat if it really happens
to my own family
what am i gg to do?
i don think i can go on
with my life without
anyone of them

so people ard me,
please dont take death
too lightly
you are important
to each and everyone
around you..

dont be foolish
and do anything harsh
when everything cannot
be changed, it will be
too late, especially death

please god, bless me,
bless my parents,
bless my sister
and bless anyone
around me :D

everything came so suddenly

last tues i still went
in to malaysia to visit
her in the hospital
2 days ago
uncle told us that
grandma was discharged
from hospital
and resting at home

i was the first person
in my family
to receive the news
that my grandma passed away

now i finally realised
the feeling when being
notified of something bad
like death..

i was too shocked
to react initially
then today my aunt told
me to contact my mum
no matter what

and luckily i did..
next moment when
i put down the phone
my tears came down already
my mama also
came home with eyes red
when informing my eldest uncle
she finally cried

then we rushed to
malaysia immediately
spent the whole night there
just reached home

just now
really cried like hell
first time attended funeral
for my family

is a christian one
somemore
wierd wierd one
alot of strangers whom
i don know who
should be from church
but still i thank them
for coming even
though we all are not related

and this is the first time
i saw most of my relatives
unfamiliar faces
most of them cried
make me also cry like hell

today first time kenna called
cousin
wierd wierd one
and i feel old
lol!!

tomorrow and sun
going in too
alot of relatives will
be gg in as well
hope wont be as sad as today

GRANDMA REST IN PEACE
dont worry abt us cuz
we all will be fine

the past few days...
damn damn damn boring...
LOL



today went for teenage birthday bash
at DXO with weiling
not many people.. LOL


but got dance
cuz they make it like

normal club lol

so not fun la..
cuz too few people
and people i know


after that went bugis
walk walk eat eat
then talked for another
hour plus at l shape

i bought a pair of shoes :D

cried for whole afternoon

by watching my date

with vampire 2

hahhaha.. cuz very touching..

very sad.. so many ppl died..

YES YES YES YES~~~~~~@!!!!!!!!
I FINALLY GOT A NEW PHONE
AFTER MONTHS!!!
nokia 6120
very very small phone
so different from 6280
still trying to figuring
how to use tat phone.. lol

abit difficult to understand
KNS kns KNS

不被重视的感觉
超不开心的~！！

i will be trying out
DAE next yr to other poly courses
if can get into something i want
i shld be transferring

so boring today
no ppl is FREE~!!
####$^&*%^&%$#@

thurs had a good dinner with
mari shirin jw wt
they are still as funny as ever
like so long nvr seen them alr

meet up often ppl
i miss ur lots lots :D

fri missed school lol

today had amazing race
so excited initially
as time passes... duh....
rp-->punggol end-->changi airport
--> vivo-->clark quay-->yishun
--> amk-->queenstown--> RP
faint.. spent 15 bucks on CAB only

moment i reached ending pt
complained
on the way ther i also keep
complaining abt SEG LOL

NOW MUSSCLE PULLING CRAMP ALR
but still.. there are alot of ppl i want to thank

The SEG guy who gave us clue in punggol
The SEG guys who helped us in Vivo

couple who send us out of punggol end
the ang mo family who let us take pic
with their son and be our photographer
Debby and Leonard at BK
bunch of funny guys who told us
where yishun pond is
got one is CUTE!!! :P
and anyone who has helped us in
any way or another :D

LAST but not least
i want to THANK
SIOW KAI YAN
FASEHAH
for being my teammates for TODAY :D

老公，please take good care
of urself...
GET WELL SOON~!! :D

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shanshan
02221989

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